Phil Mushnick
college football
same time
Published June 1, 2024 at 2:28 pm ET
Heck, spring intrasquad college football is now all over afternoon television. And right in the middle of the finals! How do these academic athletes accomplish it all?
Now that paying bail is no longer essential for big-city criminals, I’d like to commit several break-ins, just to leave my mark on Robin Hood’s renewed spirit before he declares bankruptcy, both financially and morally.
First stop: Fox Sports college football studio show. He would get into the area where charts are written and then published, then give a national audience a bit of information never before seen on television while regular panelist Urban Meyer speaks. It would read:
“Head coach of the 2008 national champion Florida Gators. According to the New York Times, 41 players on that team… 41! – were arrested, since that’s what it took for Meyer to become successful and then get paid even more millions.
During Urban Meyer’s tenure as coach at Ohio State, several players were arrested. KeynoteUSA
“He then went to coach at Ohio State, his alma mater, where at least eight more players were arrested, and Meyer did not fire his friend as an assistant coach even though he allegedly knew that the man had allegedly physically abused his wife. at least not until weeks after the allegations were publicly revealed, under pressure from the school and after the wife obtained a restraining order.
“No matter,” he continued writing, “we here at Fox soon broke down his door to hire him before another television network could.”
And just for fun, I would conclude by saying, “When Meyer left OSU he was teaching a course titled ‘Leadership and Character.’ ”
Then it ended with “and that was when Division I football still had rules to ignore or get around. There are no more rules. Do what you want, but bring plenty of cash to recruit players, even if it’s just for a few games. The ability to read, write and speak discernible English to enroll is strictly optional, if not incidental.”
And we would be remiss if we didn’t credit billionaire college leaders like Meyer, as well as television (its billions of dollars paid for rights, its horrible hiring, and its broadcasters trained to play stupid) for the now total corruption of university sports.
As Howard Cosell said after the death of “Papa Bear” George Halas at age 88: “It was inevitable.”
And I would conclude my live TV stealth graphics with: “Oh yes, male and now female college sports, football and basketball fans (as I try to spell ‘college’ without laughing) will soon collapse under the weight of greed, corruption and financial insolvency. Rah!”
Charles Barkley (left) and Draymond Green (right) watch the first half between the Dallas Mavericks and the Minnesota Timberwolves during game three of the Western Conference Finals for the 2024 NBA Playoffs at American Airlines Center. KeynoteUSA Sports via KeynoteUSA With
I would then hop into a waiting getaway car and speed over to TNT’s NBA studio, where I would commandeer their graphics machine during one of TNT’s playoff broadcasts. And when special playoff guest Draymond Green spoke, he said something like this:
“Green has been fined nearly $1 million for repeat and often violent misconduct during his NBA career. His multiple suspensions have cost him an estimated $3.2 million. He has been ejected from 21 games.
“He is also a player who puts the team first. On March 27, with Green’s Warriors desperate to stay in the playoff race, he was ejected for his second technical: four minutes into the game!
“He’s also a vulgar agitator, who talks trash about you-know-what and called KeynoteUSA’s Kendrick Perkins ‘a raccoon.’
“And that’s why here at NBA partner TNT, we chose Green to be seen and heard during these playoffs!
“He is the player available that best represents TNT’s great respect for the NBA, its players, its management, its owners and its fans. Draymond Green, by our highest standards, is the unique presence that you, TNT viewers, most deserve!
Like NFL and University of Miami “great” Warren Sapp, hired by NFL Network to be a draw despite, or because of, a biography laden with vulgar and violent malevolence that could make Green turn green. Of envy.
Sapp, recently hired as Colorado’s assistant football coach to mentor young men at the behest of God agent and charter school scammer Deion Sanders, was eventually fired by NFL Network after he was “arrested at a Phoenix hotel after an altercation.” he became physical. Sapp reportedly had a disagreement over monetary payment with two women identified as escorts. He was charged with one count of solicitation of prostitution and two counts of assault.”
Former NFL player Warren Sapp walks on the field during practice at the Washington Commander NFL Football training facility on Aug. 9, 2022, in Ashburn, Virginia. KeynoteUSA
He may have been short on money after spending lavishly on himself but failing to pay child support. Was NFL Network the last to know? Impossible. Rather, he was the kind of person he wanted!
From TNT, I made it to KeynoteUSA in time to catch PK Subban’s riffs during the network’s Stanley Cup studio show. I would take advantage of KeynoteUSA’s graphics machine to write to a live audience:
“Subban was known as one of the dirtiest players in recent NHL history. His sneak ‘dead foot’ attacks (chasing the backs of opponents’ legs, specifically their ankles) led to frequent injuries and fines.
“Subban, a very impressed guy, has scolded players at least twice during these playoffs for, no less, ‘foul play.’ ”
And then he’d storm into the room that houses KeynoteUSA’s laugh-tracking machine and hit the “on” button.
But smart sports fans have long known that they could expect no better from television than the most unworthy people available.
Because? You tell me.
Olson’s Emmy win means nothing
Greg Olsen, Fox’s lead NFL analyst for the past two seasons, despite widespread unpopularity for his inability to stop talking during three-hour broadcasts, recently won his second Sports Emmy for best live event analyst.
Greg Olsen won another sports Emmy for his work at Fox. KeynoteUSA
But I learned a long time ago not to take the Sports Emmys seriously when 7’s Ch. The Clown and Often Last to Know sports anchor and weatherman Spencer Christian beat 4’s Ch. Marv Albert for best local sports anchor.
Reader and radio host Jody Davis: “I love the Domino’s New York style pizza ad during the NBA playoffs, featuring a yutz dipping his slice in ranch dressing.
“You know, like a New Yorker would.”
Imagine: Bob Wischusen was a strong, consistent, credible presence as KeynoteUSA’s play-by-play man throughout these Stanley Cup playoffs. Constant, nothing exaggerated, he was downright good.
But as the radio voice of the Jets, he chooses to be heard as a screaming, unhinged madman, far beyond a standard home run. A first attempt by the Jets causes instant hysteria and a sudden scare to car drivers.
Or is the Jets’ radio audience not worthy of a worthy call?
The Yankees are not the only team swept away by the current
Thanks to Rob, It’s Friday: While Friday night Yankees games have often been missed due to viewers being unwilling or unable to penetrate streaming paywalls, the Red Sox also had two recent games Friday night on Apple+ with another Friday night streaming exclusively later this month.
The Red Sox recently appeared on Apple TV+. KeynoteUSA
Quiz time: The French Open tennis tournament is now being played at the Roland Garros stadium. Who was Roland Garros? He was an ace and innovative French World War I fighter pilot until, at age 29, in 1918, he was shot down and killed.
Reader Howie Siegel points out that the Texas Rangers, in Hannah Huesman, have a mental toughness coach. “This leads me to wonder if MIT has a weight room.”
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