The NHL ads that run during the playoffs are predictable. Dramatic background music, old clips of guys lifting the Cup, maybe some slow-motion goals, probably a self-congratulatory voiceover promoting the sport. Winning the Cup is transcendent, they say. It’s a way to etch your name in history: the closest you can get to kleos or immortal glory in an era after the classic heroes of the battlefield.
And while that’s nice or whatever, what these marketing executives don’t mention is the flip side of the glory. What if, say, you’re among the vast majority of fans who have already seen their team lose a chance to win a championship? Frankly, I don’t care “if this Cup could talk” because it won’t be a whisper in the ear of any player on my team.
But the hockey season doesn’t end with the elimination of your team. There is always another path you can take, one possibly even more satisfying and sustainable. It’s not for the faint of heart though. Are you made to hate? Sometimes the most rewarding memory will be the humiliation of others. Victories may be eternal, but so are many, like the Leafs’ loss to a Zamboni driver. And in the blink of an eye, here we are, with the chance to witness the NHL’s first reverse sweep championship since 1942. Tonight’s Game 7 is for the haters.
A loss tonight will be generationally devastating for either team. On the one hand, we have the Panthers facing what could be one of the most horrific chokeholds in history. If they lose in front of their home crowd tonight, as has happened the last three times in a final, the cats and rats will never get over it. Having to watch the Oilers celebrate on the ice in Florida? To be denied, due to their own inability to simply not lose four games in a row, the franchise’s first Cup? That’s the kind of thing you can rub in the faces of fans for decades.
For the Oilers, who briefly began the season in last place in the league, a legendary redemption arc is within reach. They were finally able to silence all the McDavid haters! Shut up everyone who said the league rigged multiple lottery draws to get their way! Their mortal enemies, the Flames fans, would probably burn with rage. But a defeat tonight would mean sudden and immeasurable anguish, a catastrophic crash landing after an attempted ascent to the highest emotional levels. Although they will never admit it even to themselves, Oilers fans believe in their hearts that they are winning tonight. Hearts like that break easily and permanently. Falling short would haunt Edmonton forever. And you will be there to remind them at every opportunity.
In my ideal world, we do at least two overtimes, the tension is so high that it feels something like pain. For the hating viewer, there is no way to lose. A Cup will be raised and tears will be shed. Either way, you’ll come out of this battle with ammo so powerful it’ll last a lifetime. If this Cup could talk, it would tell you to never stop rubbing it.
Keynote USA
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